Shit just got REAL!

We have baby items. In our home. For our baby(ies).

It's surreal that it's real! This is really happening!!

We are just getting some serious basic items we would need for any kiddo from 0-2. I scored some great things (not pictured) used from some facebook groups. Seriously great deals for very gently used or not at all used.

I think we just need cribs, bedding, and car seats and we will be all set.

Those are big items, but we might be able to get my niece's crib, maybe her car seat, and I am meeting someone this week for 1 set of bedding.

And I went to Babies R Us this weekend to decide on car seats, a stroller and a diaper bag. I have made my choices, now I am going to shop around to get the best prices.

Also, I don't think we are going to get a stroller right now. It seems better to wait until we meet our kids and get to know them a little. Also, I don't really want a stroller. I know that seems crazy but I would rather wear them or carry them.

I can see occasions when it would be necessary, but those probably won't happen right away. I hope.....

Big Feelings

Now that we are closer to meeting our kiddo's I keep thinking about them.

Who they are, what they look like, their personalities, how old they are, and the big one. What are they going through right now that I can't protect them from.

I am wondering if they are already born (we want a baby, so it might not be here yet) what hell are they living through? And I want so bad to just protect them. 

I am wondering if they are in their mom's belly, what is happening to them? Is she stressed, abused, using drugs? What are they experiencing now?

It makes me cry just thinking about it. (Also, PMS). 

I know I have talked to my adoptive mom friend about this and she went through it too. So I know I'm not the only one. But it is still hard. Wondering, waiting, wanting. 

Phase 2

We graduated from Foster/Adopt Training last night! Phase 1 is OVER!

Phase 2 starts today! I just spent over $300 on our baby and all the safety requirements. I love Amazon. It's a problem. But I compared prices and with Prime free shipping on almost everything, it was worth going online.

I really just got some basics, but I really don't know what we are going to need. It's weird because we have so many unknowns. Like, we could get either 1 or 2 kids at one time. The kid(s) could be from Newborn to 2 years old. We have no idea and won't know until about an hour before they arrive.

I got what I think we will need for any of the above: a pack n' play, wipes, shampoo, body wash, hooded towels, swaddle blankets, thermometer, lotion, changing pad, and "lovies." Then a ton of safety stuff. An Oven lock, cabinet locks, medications lock boxes (yes, we have to have 2. Really, we might need 3 but will start with 2), and outlet covers.

I love our home, it is clearly a custom built house. There are cabinets and drawers EVERYWHERE! I love it because of storage space, but hate it for baby-proofing. So many locks..............

We will have to make a Wal-Mart run after we get "The Call" for diapers, food, clothes, etc. Important things that are really age specific.

All we have left to do is get cribs, car seats, and a glider. Big things yes, but that's about all we need for the first day (I think/Hope).

There we just have to get a Fire Inspection ("Call Chuck"), get our fire extinguishers "tagged" (whatever the hell that means), and online training. Then, the home study and we are ready!!!

I am feeling confident we can meet our Mid-May self-imposed deadline and finally meet our babies!

I did a really cool thing

Today I testified in a Texas State Senate Committee hearing. It was so rad!

I only found out about the hearing on Monday, e-mailed and connected to the person in charge Tuesday, and went Wednesday morning. The bill is about a loan repayment program for counselor's who work with Medicaid, CHIP, and correctional facilities. Basically, I just told them what I know and have seen the past 8 years working "in the systems."

I had 3 minutes to say my peace. My coworkers helped me refine my speech after I wrote it, timed me practicing, and encouraged me all day Tuesday. It was really great to have everyone enthusiastic and supportive of what I was doing.

Then, I totally nailed the speech! I was perfectly timed, at 2 minutes, 45 seconds. I said everything clearly and without stumble. I made good eye contact with all 8 Senators on the committee, and many of their aids (who do a ton of the work). One Senator asked me a question about my speech, to clarify a point he didn't understand thoroughly. I answered expertly and succinctly. Out of the 4 people testifying at the same time, I totally did the best. Not that I am biased....

The woman who connected me is the Executive Director of the Texas Counseling Association. She enthusiastically said what a great job I did, and e-mailed my old professor telling her how helpful and great I was. What an EGO BOOST! I was so High afterward, it was a great rush! I want to do it again!

I also managed to get my TB test read this morning, all before 1pm. I snuck in the doctor visit before going back to work. One more thing scratched off the Baby To-Do List.

S and I have been rocking the list this week! I have crossed off 1-2 things everyday last week and this week. He was able to go get several things done even while working a ton. I'm so proud of us!

I hope to be able to turn in all the paperwork on Monday, which is the last day of training. Only a few more things to do before then!

I feel super "nest-y." Like I want to organize, re-arrange, paint, buy stuff, etc. We estimate to be able to be "open" to a kid by mid-May so I guess that technically makes me about 8 months Paper Pregnant. WOW that's a big thing I never thought would happen to me/us.

Good things are happening..........................

Training and Great Friends

3 days of Foster Parent training are in the books! 2 more to go!

Surprisingly, the classes are super boring. I was so excited to get started, learn some cool stuff, and get to know other foster parents.

Instead, training is a young woman reading us power point slides. YAWN! This is only made worse by the terrible grammar, many misspellings and typos, and that the trainer actually reads the typos.

Example: "The boy was raised experiencing daily bear." (It's probably supposed to say Fear.) She actually said bear and continued reading. Like it wasn't a thing.

There is little to no interaction with the other parents. Luckily two couples who have been foster parents before sat next to us. I have been chatting with the women to get some good tips and real world knowledge.

Saturday after training we went to S' besties house. Our friends are just the greatest. They asked wonderful sweet questions about training, our future kiddos, etc.  They asked to see the bedding I picked out, loved it, and helped me with some other things I need to get and where to get it.

So sweet! :)

We have SO MUCH TO DO! There are a ton of little things that have to be done to baby proof the house; paint, set up the room, online training, dog shots, etc.! We are going to be busy the next month or so!

One step forward........

Foster Care Training started YESTERDAY! WHOO!

I wanted to blog before we went, but time just slipped away. Sunday and Monday before the training I was having some big feelings. I was super excited to take a big step forward in starting our family and I was super terrified of all the unknowns that come with having a kiddo!

After training, I still feel the same way. Just maybe a little more overwhelmed. There is a ton of stuff we have to get done before we can be approved through the agency.

We made a list of the big and small things to get done really soon, it had about 8 items. During the lecture last night I added about 10 more things. Yikes!

There isn't anything major on the list, it's a bunch of small things to gather, obtain, and follow through with. Such as: copies of our driving record, copy of marriage license, check smoke detectors, and on and on and on.

There are a few bigger things like S has to take a 2.5 hour CPR/First Aid class. Luckily for me I recently took it at work. And we have a ton of online training to do. I have literally no concept of how long that will take. Anywhere from 1-1,000,000 hours.

I did just get a new laptop for my business so that will make the training's easier. It will also make blogging from home an option! YAH! I have been limited to blogging at work where I have an actual keyboard, which is better than using the tablet.

We have a self imposed deadline to be ready for a kid by the end of our May beach vacation (May 11). I really don't know if that will happen, but it is a goal. And I will be ok if we don't make it, but I really, really want to be done by then!

I have been focusing on making a list of items we need for baby. I am up to 74 things on my amazon list. Everyday I find out about things I forgot. (like Toilet locks....thanks fellow foster mom friend)

I was talking to a coworker who has a kid my age about all this "stuff" for baby. Back when I was little and she was raising her son there just wasn't this much safety stuff, and extra stuff to deal with. I am a minimalist, but also I want to be super safe and super prepared. Not that either will prevent anything from happening but it makes me feel better.

Also the kids that will be in our home most likely won't have the best boundaries nor listen to us at first. So we will go a little overboard on safety, and hope we can unlock some cabinets at some point.

Training is Fri and Sat this week, so I hope we learn a lot and knock some things off the to-do list by then.

It's finally happening.

As usual I'm a super blog slacker........but let's just move into acceptance on that.

It's been pretty boring and normal around here, which is NOT a bad thing. At All.

We continue being mindful about what we eat and still love the Arbonne Protein shakes for breakfast. Neither of us has gained back any of the weight we lost just before Christmas on the 28-day Challenge. Which is awesome!

A couple weekends ago S and I took a trip to San Antonio for a few days. The purpose was multi-faceted.
First, we wanted some time without distractions to spend some time together. We got 1 day off together over the holidays, and we had family in town. It had been a while since we had time just the two of us. Goal Accomplished.

Second, we wanted to get away to really be able to talk about and sort through our feelings on fostering, not having a genetic baby, and really discuss it as it is becoming more and more reality. Goal Accomplished.

We talked about everything, and I had some time to continue adjusting to not being pregnant. I have been working on assimilating that idea for the past several months, and I really think I am used to it by now. Of course some days are harder than others. But I am accepting reality, having faith, and letting go of my super need to control everything.

It was so great to just have time with the hubs, and we really enjoyed our time there despite the fact that I was sick, he got heartburn, and it was cold the last day!

And that leads me to Foster Care Update:
Training starts at the end of March! We are actually going this time! This is the 3rd training offered since we first expressed interest to the agency we are working with. I think we just weren't ready because we each had several "reasons" we couldn't go. But it is happening now!

We have done most of the initial paperwork and just have to turn it in. I hope that helps us get everything done quickly!

I know of a family that has been done with everything for 8 months! They still don't have a placement! And another family that has been ready for several months and also doesn't have a placement! YIKES! They live in different areas, so I hope that isn't the case for us.

I really, really want this to go smoothly. However, judging by everything else related to us getting a baby the odds are small......but who knows! Maybe we were meant to do this all along, and the universe has just been waiting for us to get our shit together so we can get the child intended for us!

Positive thoughts on a positive foster care experience are always welcome :)