June 24, 2013
I am totally sucking a life right now. I didn't go to work today because I over slept. Seriously like the 10th time that has happened pretty recently. And I haven't done anything today. Except research infertility and read blogs. I am thinking "Oh I need to do laundry" oh but it's 4pm and that hasn't happened yet. I managed to smoke like 4 cigarettes, but can't do anything else. I didn't even eat anything until about 3. I am pretty sure this is depression. Not bad like suicidal depression but like no motivation depression. I haven't worked out in about 4 months. I went from being a regular at the gym to canceling my membership. Yoga seems like so much work I can't even entertain the idea. I used to do it almost everyday. What the hell. It sucks. I can't remember the last time I mopped the floors even. Bathrooms- phewww yeah right. S has been picking up that slack. The guy who works like 50 hours a week compared to my like 35 hours a week now has to clean for us. That is my job and I usually don't mind but I just can't do it. I can't motivate myself to do anything! And I am getting so fat but yet do nothing about it. I am broken. Hope it's only temporary..............
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