July 4, 2013
So we went to a July 3rd party last night at a good friend's house who we have known for a long time. Most of the people there we have both known since before we knew each other. I am pretty open about our fertility situation overall and especially with friends and after a couple drinks. I wonder if I should be more tight lipped about it though. Am I over sharing, do people not want to hear it, and what if something bad happens....those aren't actually my questions though. Because I don't mind people knowing. But I wonder if future me will want me to keep my mouth shut? Yeah I suck at that soooooo probably not my approach.It is interesting though because there is one girl who I just knew I didn't want to share anything with. And I didn't, even though they are trying for a baby too, and we talk about getting pregnant and TTC whenever we see each other. Which btw is only at social gatherings we have both been invited to. When I saw her last night I had this guttural response to not talk about it. Like my mind clenched up and was all "mayday, mayday get out now. Danger danger!"What could I do but listen to it. So of course she asked how I was doing if we were still trying, tracking etc. And I totally acted cool and calm and was all "oh yeah still doing it, no we haven't been to the doctor or anything. You know it will happen whenever" that was the first time since we were engaged I have left a conversation with her feeling good about myself. (P.S. she is the only person who upset me and made me feel bad about wedding, then she decided not to go at the last minute!)So I think while I share more than some, I know how to protect myself from people that will not be the supportive friend I need. And I think I am good at taking social cues from people when they aren't interested or are uncomfortable. Though if anyone has word of wisdom with a side of hindsight I am open to that too!Must go hang out with my fur-babies.Happy Independence Day!!!!!!
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