We decided to take a break from getting kiddos for about a month. S had some travel planned, and we needed to reconnect and regroup.
We also decided maybe we jumped a little too deep with 2 kiddos at the same time. When we "opened" our home again, we decided to ask for 1 child under the age of 18 months.
After 3 weeks of waiting, we had a baby girl placed with us in early November.
During the 3 week wait, we got several calls for children needing homes. Some were older (like 2-5), and several were sibling groups of 2-4. It was absolutely heartbreaking to have to say no. I cried every single time. I wanted those babies to have a safe, loving home, Ultimately, I had to recognize our limitations. It isn't fair to the children to bring them to our home, and not be able to be the stable, boundary setting parent they need.
So we waited for what seemed like forever to get a child that matched our abilities.
We finally got The Call on a Monday in November.
She is a great baby. Easy going, happy, well fed, well loved.
We have so much empathy for her mom. It is a hard, sad situation. (I can't and wouldn't share details. Not my story to tell.)
We don't know what will happen with her case. For now, we love her, snuggle her, and kiss her face one day at a time.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Our Crazy Foster Care Life- Round 1
I noticed today my last post was in May! WOW, how time flies! We have been super busy with self-employment, S changed job roles, and we have had foster babies!!
Foster Care is quite the roller coaster of emotions. I have waited so long to write about it, because I really needed to sort out and deal with ALL THE FEELINGS!
We waited for a placement (that means when we get a child in our home) all summer. We got our first call in August 2015. Of course we said YES. The call was for exactly what we wanted. 2 brothers ages 3.5 years and 17 months.
Um, we may have overestimated ourselves just a bit.
Going from 0 children to 2 active, traumatized children was quite dramatic for a Tuesday.
We struggled with the Big Guy's behaviors. That kid has been in and out of foster care his entire life. I was his "4th mom." Seriously, he had 4 placements in less than 4 years. It was horrible. He had endured so much abuse, neglect, and change in his little life. He is a very sweet kid. He challenged everything. We had epic meltdowns daily (him and I).
And the Baby. He was very opinionated, but did respect boundaries as much as a 17month old can. He ate EVERYTHING. I swear he ate like 7 meals a day. He sought out food when he was upset, or didn't get his way. I was his "3rd mom."
It was a challenge having those boys, but we loved them the best we could and provided for them. They were with us for 1 month, and were moved to live with a distant relative.
I think it was for the best. We were overwhelmed, and they loved the people they were going to be around at that placement.
Just as suddenly as they came, they were gone.
Foster Care is quite the roller coaster of emotions. I have waited so long to write about it, because I really needed to sort out and deal with ALL THE FEELINGS!
We waited for a placement (that means when we get a child in our home) all summer. We got our first call in August 2015. Of course we said YES. The call was for exactly what we wanted. 2 brothers ages 3.5 years and 17 months.
Um, we may have overestimated ourselves just a bit.
Going from 0 children to 2 active, traumatized children was quite dramatic for a Tuesday.
We struggled with the Big Guy's behaviors. That kid has been in and out of foster care his entire life. I was his "4th mom." Seriously, he had 4 placements in less than 4 years. It was horrible. He had endured so much abuse, neglect, and change in his little life. He is a very sweet kid. He challenged everything. We had epic meltdowns daily (him and I).
And the Baby. He was very opinionated, but did respect boundaries as much as a 17month old can. He ate EVERYTHING. I swear he ate like 7 meals a day. He sought out food when he was upset, or didn't get his way. I was his "3rd mom."
It was a challenge having those boys, but we loved them the best we could and provided for them. They were with us for 1 month, and were moved to live with a distant relative.
I think it was for the best. We were overwhelmed, and they loved the people they were going to be around at that placement.
Just as suddenly as they came, they were gone.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Trust Fall
I feel like I am about to do a Trust Fall. You remember what those are? It like that scene in "Mean Girls" when they are telling their secrets, then one girls climbs up on a platform only to fall backwards onto her classmates, hoping they will catch her.
Yeah, that's me. Except it's my life...... and God, Skie, and the Universe are set up to *hopefully* catch me.
My last day of "employment" is May 28. That's one week. In one week I will be Self-Employed.
That's some scary stuff.
That's exciting stuff. Also, Scary.
My business is going well, I see enough clients right now to make half of my current salary. I just need to double it and no problems!
That seems hard. And achievable. Also, Hard.
I know that I can't rely on self-referred or doctor-referred clients for my full time salary. I need to find some other contract work, or some other solid referral stream.
I am working on it. I have some ideas, and some potential situations that could work out.
Until then though, it's just Trust. And on May 28 I start falling. Hopefully I won't land on my ass.
Yeah, that's me. Except it's my life...... and God, Skie, and the Universe are set up to *hopefully* catch me.
My last day of "employment" is May 28. That's one week. In one week I will be Self-Employed.
That's some scary stuff.
That's exciting stuff. Also, Scary.
My business is going well, I see enough clients right now to make half of my current salary. I just need to double it and no problems!
That seems hard. And achievable. Also, Hard.
I know that I can't rely on self-referred or doctor-referred clients for my full time salary. I need to find some other contract work, or some other solid referral stream.
I am working on it. I have some ideas, and some potential situations that could work out.
Until then though, it's just Trust. And on May 28 I start falling. Hopefully I won't land on my ass.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
3 Years and Counting
Tuesday, April 14 was our 3 year anniversary! It has gone by so fast, and it seems like we have been together forever.
S had the day off work; I did not. He got some big "to-do's" checked off the foster care list. He went to CPR and took Ms. Chica to get her shots. Then, he cooked his famous "Date Dinner" for me (salmon, asparagus, and roasted new potatoes with dill). YUM!!!
Year 3 is Leather, and we try to stay with the traditional gifts each year just because it is fun. He got me a Coach Wristlet, and a Coach tote bag! I was not expecting such extravagance!! He says he got them on sale at the outlet, so it wasn't too expensive.
I ordered his gift on Amazon (new kickball cleats), so of course it wasn't here on time. So in lieu of having his real gift, I got him a bag of beef jerky with his card. ---Get it....it's like food leather......
We enjoyed a nice dinner together, then worked on taxes---sooooo romantic
We finally got them done April 15 at 10:00pm. Nothing like waiting until 2 hours to deadline.....
Have a mentioned S is sort of a procrastinator?? :)
During our anniversary dinner, we also had our annual "DTR" (Define the Relationship). This is something I started a long time ago when I was single and dating. We always did it before we got married, and much to S' chagrin I ask we continue the tradition.
Basically, it is an opportunity for us to "check-in" on our feelings about the marriage. We shared this time about if marriage is meeting our expectations, is it close to what we thought it would be or not.
We both agree we are great partners, and we are really good at compromising so we both get our needs/wants met. We both agree that we do things the other finds annoying, but that there are so many great things it isn't worth getting upset about.
We both talked about how people say marriage is so hard. We are still waiting for that to happen......
Hey- maybe it won't!
Then we talked about our future kiddos, and how being parents might change our marriage. We are both a little nervous about that. And we agreed to make sure we focus on each other when we do get our kids. I just hope we can put it into practice.
I already know what will be our stressors when we have kids. My impatience, and his infinite patience (which sometimes looks like the aforementioned procrastination) and that he doesn't do what I want when I want it. He refuses to let me boss him around! How frustrating! ;)
If he would just do everything I said when I say it everything would be great....Right????
No, no, no. I don't really want that. I have to keep that in check and let him be his own person......I love that outcome, but I have to remind myself that it's better this way!
So here we go. 3 years of marriage, about to have kids for the first time, and we only have
FFFOOORRRREVVEERRRR to go!!!
(Sandlot reference.....we say it almost daily and both wrote it in our cards to each other.)
:)
S had the day off work; I did not. He got some big "to-do's" checked off the foster care list. He went to CPR and took Ms. Chica to get her shots. Then, he cooked his famous "Date Dinner" for me (salmon, asparagus, and roasted new potatoes with dill). YUM!!!
Year 3 is Leather, and we try to stay with the traditional gifts each year just because it is fun. He got me a Coach Wristlet, and a Coach tote bag! I was not expecting such extravagance!! He says he got them on sale at the outlet, so it wasn't too expensive.
I ordered his gift on Amazon (new kickball cleats), so of course it wasn't here on time. So in lieu of having his real gift, I got him a bag of beef jerky with his card. ---Get it....it's like food leather......
We enjoyed a nice dinner together, then worked on taxes---sooooo romantic
We finally got them done April 15 at 10:00pm. Nothing like waiting until 2 hours to deadline.....
Have a mentioned S is sort of a procrastinator?? :)
During our anniversary dinner, we also had our annual "DTR" (Define the Relationship). This is something I started a long time ago when I was single and dating. We always did it before we got married, and much to S' chagrin I ask we continue the tradition.
Basically, it is an opportunity for us to "check-in" on our feelings about the marriage. We shared this time about if marriage is meeting our expectations, is it close to what we thought it would be or not.
We both agree we are great partners, and we are really good at compromising so we both get our needs/wants met. We both agree that we do things the other finds annoying, but that there are so many great things it isn't worth getting upset about.
We both talked about how people say marriage is so hard. We are still waiting for that to happen......
Hey- maybe it won't!
Then we talked about our future kiddos, and how being parents might change our marriage. We are both a little nervous about that. And we agreed to make sure we focus on each other when we do get our kids. I just hope we can put it into practice.
I already know what will be our stressors when we have kids. My impatience, and his infinite patience (which sometimes looks like the aforementioned procrastination) and that he doesn't do what I want when I want it. He refuses to let me boss him around! How frustrating! ;)
If he would just do everything I said when I say it everything would be great....Right????
No, no, no. I don't really want that. I have to keep that in check and let him be his own person......I love that outcome, but I have to remind myself that it's better this way!
So here we go. 3 years of marriage, about to have kids for the first time, and we only have
FFFOOORRRREVVEERRRR to go!!!
(Sandlot reference.....we say it almost daily and both wrote it in our cards to each other.)
:)
Monday, April 13, 2015
Shit just got REAL!
It's surreal that it's real! This is really happening!!
We are just getting some serious basic items we would need for any kiddo from 0-2. I scored some great things (not pictured) used from some facebook groups. Seriously great deals for very gently used or not at all used.
I think we just need cribs, bedding, and car seats and we will be all set.
Those are big items, but we might be able to get my niece's crib, maybe her car seat, and I am meeting someone this week for 1 set of bedding.
And I went to Babies R Us this weekend to decide on car seats, a stroller and a diaper bag. I have made my choices, now I am going to shop around to get the best prices.
Also, I don't think we are going to get a stroller right now. It seems better to wait until we meet our kids and get to know them a little. Also, I don't really want a stroller. I know that seems crazy but I would rather wear them or carry them.
I can see occasions when it would be necessary, but those probably won't happen right away. I hope.....
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Big Feelings
Now that we are closer to meeting our kiddo's I keep thinking about them.
Who they are, what they look like, their personalities, how old they are, and the big one. What are they going through right now that I can't protect them from.
Who they are, what they look like, their personalities, how old they are, and the big one. What are they going through right now that I can't protect them from.
I am wondering if they are already born (we want a baby, so it might not be here yet) what hell are they living through? And I want so bad to just protect them.
I am wondering if they are in their mom's belly, what is happening to them? Is she stressed, abused, using drugs? What are they experiencing now?
It makes me cry just thinking about it. (Also, PMS).
I know I have talked to my adoptive mom friend about this and she went through it too. So I know I'm not the only one. But it is still hard. Wondering, waiting, wanting.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Phase 2
We graduated from Foster/Adopt Training last night! Phase 1 is OVER!
Phase 2 starts today! I just spent over $300 on our baby and all the safety requirements. I love Amazon. It's a problem. But I compared prices and with Prime free shipping on almost everything, it was worth going online.
I really just got some basics, but I really don't know what we are going to need. It's weird because we have so many unknowns. Like, we could get either 1 or 2 kids at one time. The kid(s) could be from Newborn to 2 years old. We have no idea and won't know until about an hour before they arrive.
I got what I think we will need for any of the above: a pack n' play, wipes, shampoo, body wash, hooded towels, swaddle blankets, thermometer, lotion, changing pad, and "lovies." Then a ton of safety stuff. An Oven lock, cabinet locks, medications lock boxes (yes, we have to have 2. Really, we might need 3 but will start with 2), and outlet covers.
I love our home, it is clearly a custom built house. There are cabinets and drawers EVERYWHERE! I love it because of storage space, but hate it for baby-proofing. So many locks..............
We will have to make a Wal-Mart run after we get "The Call" for diapers, food, clothes, etc. Important things that are really age specific.
All we have left to do is get cribs, car seats, and a glider. Big things yes, but that's about all we need for the first day (I think/Hope).
There we just have to get a Fire Inspection ("Call Chuck"), get our fire extinguishers "tagged" (whatever the hell that means), and online training. Then, the home study and we are ready!!!
I am feeling confident we can meet our Mid-May self-imposed deadline and finally meet our babies!
Phase 2 starts today! I just spent over $300 on our baby and all the safety requirements. I love Amazon. It's a problem. But I compared prices and with Prime free shipping on almost everything, it was worth going online.
I really just got some basics, but I really don't know what we are going to need. It's weird because we have so many unknowns. Like, we could get either 1 or 2 kids at one time. The kid(s) could be from Newborn to 2 years old. We have no idea and won't know until about an hour before they arrive.
I got what I think we will need for any of the above: a pack n' play, wipes, shampoo, body wash, hooded towels, swaddle blankets, thermometer, lotion, changing pad, and "lovies." Then a ton of safety stuff. An Oven lock, cabinet locks, medications lock boxes (yes, we have to have 2. Really, we might need 3 but will start with 2), and outlet covers.
I love our home, it is clearly a custom built house. There are cabinets and drawers EVERYWHERE! I love it because of storage space, but hate it for baby-proofing. So many locks..............
We will have to make a Wal-Mart run after we get "The Call" for diapers, food, clothes, etc. Important things that are really age specific.
All we have left to do is get cribs, car seats, and a glider. Big things yes, but that's about all we need for the first day (I think/Hope).
There we just have to get a Fire Inspection ("Call Chuck"), get our fire extinguishers "tagged" (whatever the hell that means), and online training. Then, the home study and we are ready!!!
I am feeling confident we can meet our Mid-May self-imposed deadline and finally meet our babies!
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
I did a really cool thing
Today I testified in a Texas State Senate Committee hearing. It was so rad!
I only found out about the hearing on Monday, e-mailed and connected to the person in charge Tuesday, and went Wednesday morning. The bill is about a loan repayment program for counselor's who work with Medicaid, CHIP, and correctional facilities. Basically, I just told them what I know and have seen the past 8 years working "in the systems."
I had 3 minutes to say my peace. My coworkers helped me refine my speech after I wrote it, timed me practicing, and encouraged me all day Tuesday. It was really great to have everyone enthusiastic and supportive of what I was doing.
Then, I totally nailed the speech! I was perfectly timed, at 2 minutes, 45 seconds. I said everything clearly and without stumble. I made good eye contact with all 8 Senators on the committee, and many of their aids (who do a ton of the work). One Senator asked me a question about my speech, to clarify a point he didn't understand thoroughly. I answered expertly and succinctly. Out of the 4 people testifying at the same time, I totally did the best. Not that I am biased....
The woman who connected me is the Executive Director of the Texas Counseling Association. She enthusiastically said what a great job I did, and e-mailed my old professor telling her how helpful and great I was. What an EGO BOOST! I was so High afterward, it was a great rush! I want to do it again!
I also managed to get my TB test read this morning, all before 1pm. I snuck in the doctor visit before going back to work. One more thing scratched off the Baby To-Do List.
S and I have been rocking the list this week! I have crossed off 1-2 things everyday last week and this week. He was able to go get several things done even while working a ton. I'm so proud of us!
I hope to be able to turn in all the paperwork on Monday, which is the last day of training. Only a few more things to do before then!
I feel super "nest-y." Like I want to organize, re-arrange, paint, buy stuff, etc. We estimate to be able to be "open" to a kid by mid-May so I guess that technically makes me about 8 months Paper Pregnant. WOW that's a big thing I never thought would happen to me/us.
Good things are happening..........................
I only found out about the hearing on Monday, e-mailed and connected to the person in charge Tuesday, and went Wednesday morning. The bill is about a loan repayment program for counselor's who work with Medicaid, CHIP, and correctional facilities. Basically, I just told them what I know and have seen the past 8 years working "in the systems."
I had 3 minutes to say my peace. My coworkers helped me refine my speech after I wrote it, timed me practicing, and encouraged me all day Tuesday. It was really great to have everyone enthusiastic and supportive of what I was doing.
Then, I totally nailed the speech! I was perfectly timed, at 2 minutes, 45 seconds. I said everything clearly and without stumble. I made good eye contact with all 8 Senators on the committee, and many of their aids (who do a ton of the work). One Senator asked me a question about my speech, to clarify a point he didn't understand thoroughly. I answered expertly and succinctly. Out of the 4 people testifying at the same time, I totally did the best. Not that I am biased....
The woman who connected me is the Executive Director of the Texas Counseling Association. She enthusiastically said what a great job I did, and e-mailed my old professor telling her how helpful and great I was. What an EGO BOOST! I was so High afterward, it was a great rush! I want to do it again!
I also managed to get my TB test read this morning, all before 1pm. I snuck in the doctor visit before going back to work. One more thing scratched off the Baby To-Do List.
S and I have been rocking the list this week! I have crossed off 1-2 things everyday last week and this week. He was able to go get several things done even while working a ton. I'm so proud of us!
I hope to be able to turn in all the paperwork on Monday, which is the last day of training. Only a few more things to do before then!
I feel super "nest-y." Like I want to organize, re-arrange, paint, buy stuff, etc. We estimate to be able to be "open" to a kid by mid-May so I guess that technically makes me about 8 months Paper Pregnant. WOW that's a big thing I never thought would happen to me/us.
Good things are happening..........................
Monday, March 30, 2015
Training and Great Friends
3 days of Foster Parent training are in the books! 2 more to go!
Surprisingly, the classes are super boring. I was so excited to get started, learn some cool stuff, and get to know other foster parents.
Instead, training is a young woman reading us power point slides. YAWN! This is only made worse by the terrible grammar, many misspellings and typos, and that the trainer actually reads the typos.
Example: "The boy was raised experiencing daily bear." (It's probably supposed to say Fear.) She actually said bear and continued reading. Like it wasn't a thing.
There is little to no interaction with the other parents. Luckily two couples who have been foster parents before sat next to us. I have been chatting with the women to get some good tips and real world knowledge.
Saturday after training we went to S' besties house. Our friends are just the greatest. They asked wonderful sweet questions about training, our future kiddos, etc. They asked to see the bedding I picked out, loved it, and helped me with some other things I need to get and where to get it.
So sweet! :)
We have SO MUCH TO DO! There are a ton of little things that have to be done to baby proof the house; paint, set up the room, online training, dog shots, etc.! We are going to be busy the next month or so!
Surprisingly, the classes are super boring. I was so excited to get started, learn some cool stuff, and get to know other foster parents.
Instead, training is a young woman reading us power point slides. YAWN! This is only made worse by the terrible grammar, many misspellings and typos, and that the trainer actually reads the typos.
Example: "The boy was raised experiencing daily bear." (It's probably supposed to say Fear.) She actually said bear and continued reading. Like it wasn't a thing.
There is little to no interaction with the other parents. Luckily two couples who have been foster parents before sat next to us. I have been chatting with the women to get some good tips and real world knowledge.
Saturday after training we went to S' besties house. Our friends are just the greatest. They asked wonderful sweet questions about training, our future kiddos, etc. They asked to see the bedding I picked out, loved it, and helped me with some other things I need to get and where to get it.
So sweet! :)
We have SO MUCH TO DO! There are a ton of little things that have to be done to baby proof the house; paint, set up the room, online training, dog shots, etc.! We are going to be busy the next month or so!
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
One step forward........
Foster Care Training started YESTERDAY! WHOO!
I wanted to blog before we went, but time just slipped away. Sunday and Monday before the training I was having some big feelings. I was super excited to take a big step forward in starting our family and I was super terrified of all the unknowns that come with having a kiddo!
After training, I still feel the same way. Just maybe a little more overwhelmed. There is a ton of stuff we have to get done before we can be approved through the agency.
We made a list of the big and small things to get done really soon, it had about 8 items. During the lecture last night I added about 10 more things. Yikes!
There isn't anything major on the list, it's a bunch of small things to gather, obtain, and follow through with. Such as: copies of our driving record, copy of marriage license, check smoke detectors, and on and on and on.
There are a few bigger things like S has to take a 2.5 hour CPR/First Aid class. Luckily for me I recently took it at work. And we have a ton of online training to do. I have literally no concept of how long that will take. Anywhere from 1-1,000,000 hours.
I did just get a new laptop for my business so that will make the training's easier. It will also make blogging from home an option! YAH! I have been limited to blogging at work where I have an actual keyboard, which is better than using the tablet.
We have a self imposed deadline to be ready for a kid by the end of our May beach vacation (May 11). I really don't know if that will happen, but it is a goal. And I will be ok if we don't make it, but I really, really want to be done by then!
I have been focusing on making a list of items we need for baby. I am up to 74 things on my amazon list. Everyday I find out about things I forgot. (like Toilet locks....thanks fellow foster mom friend)
I was talking to a coworker who has a kid my age about all this "stuff" for baby. Back when I was little and she was raising her son there just wasn't this much safety stuff, and extra stuff to deal with. I am a minimalist, but also I want to be super safe and super prepared. Not that either will prevent anything from happening but it makes me feel better.
Also the kids that will be in our home most likely won't have the best boundaries nor listen to us at first. So we will go a little overboard on safety, and hope we can unlock some cabinets at some point.
Training is Fri and Sat this week, so I hope we learn a lot and knock some things off the to-do list by then.
I wanted to blog before we went, but time just slipped away. Sunday and Monday before the training I was having some big feelings. I was super excited to take a big step forward in starting our family and I was super terrified of all the unknowns that come with having a kiddo!
After training, I still feel the same way. Just maybe a little more overwhelmed. There is a ton of stuff we have to get done before we can be approved through the agency.
We made a list of the big and small things to get done really soon, it had about 8 items. During the lecture last night I added about 10 more things. Yikes!
There isn't anything major on the list, it's a bunch of small things to gather, obtain, and follow through with. Such as: copies of our driving record, copy of marriage license, check smoke detectors, and on and on and on.
There are a few bigger things like S has to take a 2.5 hour CPR/First Aid class. Luckily for me I recently took it at work. And we have a ton of online training to do. I have literally no concept of how long that will take. Anywhere from 1-1,000,000 hours.
I did just get a new laptop for my business so that will make the training's easier. It will also make blogging from home an option! YAH! I have been limited to blogging at work where I have an actual keyboard, which is better than using the tablet.
We have a self imposed deadline to be ready for a kid by the end of our May beach vacation (May 11). I really don't know if that will happen, but it is a goal. And I will be ok if we don't make it, but I really, really want to be done by then!
I have been focusing on making a list of items we need for baby. I am up to 74 things on my amazon list. Everyday I find out about things I forgot. (like Toilet locks....thanks fellow foster mom friend)
I was talking to a coworker who has a kid my age about all this "stuff" for baby. Back when I was little and she was raising her son there just wasn't this much safety stuff, and extra stuff to deal with. I am a minimalist, but also I want to be super safe and super prepared. Not that either will prevent anything from happening but it makes me feel better.
Also the kids that will be in our home most likely won't have the best boundaries nor listen to us at first. So we will go a little overboard on safety, and hope we can unlock some cabinets at some point.
Training is Fri and Sat this week, so I hope we learn a lot and knock some things off the to-do list by then.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
It's finally happening.
As usual I'm a super blog slacker........but let's just move into acceptance on that.
It's been pretty boring and normal around here, which is NOT a bad thing. At All.
We continue being mindful about what we eat and still love the Arbonne Protein shakes for breakfast. Neither of us has gained back any of the weight we lost just before Christmas on the 28-day Challenge. Which is awesome!
A couple weekends ago S and I took a trip to San Antonio for a few days. The purpose was multi-faceted.
First, we wanted some time without distractions to spend some time together. We got 1 day off together over the holidays, and we had family in town. It had been a while since we had time just the two of us. Goal Accomplished.
Second, we wanted to get away to really be able to talk about and sort through our feelings on fostering, not having a genetic baby, and really discuss it as it is becoming more and more reality. Goal Accomplished.
We talked about everything, and I had some time to continue adjusting to not being pregnant. I have been working on assimilating that idea for the past several months, and I really think I am used to it by now. Of course some days are harder than others. But I am accepting reality, having faith, and letting go of my super need to control everything.
It was so great to just have time with the hubs, and we really enjoyed our time there despite the fact that I was sick, he got heartburn, and it was cold the last day!
And that leads me to Foster Care Update:
Training starts at the end of March! We are actually going this time! This is the 3rd training offered since we first expressed interest to the agency we are working with. I think we just weren't ready because we each had several "reasons" we couldn't go. But it is happening now!
We have done most of the initial paperwork and just have to turn it in. I hope that helps us get everything done quickly!
I know of a family that has been done with everything for 8 months! They still don't have a placement! And another family that has been ready for several months and also doesn't have a placement! YIKES! They live in different areas, so I hope that isn't the case for us.
I really, really want this to go smoothly. However, judging by everything else related to us getting a baby the odds are small......but who knows! Maybe we were meant to do this all along, and the universe has just been waiting for us to get our shit together so we can get the child intended for us!
Positive thoughts on a positive foster care experience are always welcome :)
It's been pretty boring and normal around here, which is NOT a bad thing. At All.
We continue being mindful about what we eat and still love the Arbonne Protein shakes for breakfast. Neither of us has gained back any of the weight we lost just before Christmas on the 28-day Challenge. Which is awesome!
A couple weekends ago S and I took a trip to San Antonio for a few days. The purpose was multi-faceted.
First, we wanted some time without distractions to spend some time together. We got 1 day off together over the holidays, and we had family in town. It had been a while since we had time just the two of us. Goal Accomplished.
Second, we wanted to get away to really be able to talk about and sort through our feelings on fostering, not having a genetic baby, and really discuss it as it is becoming more and more reality. Goal Accomplished.
We talked about everything, and I had some time to continue adjusting to not being pregnant. I have been working on assimilating that idea for the past several months, and I really think I am used to it by now. Of course some days are harder than others. But I am accepting reality, having faith, and letting go of my super need to control everything.
It was so great to just have time with the hubs, and we really enjoyed our time there despite the fact that I was sick, he got heartburn, and it was cold the last day!
And that leads me to Foster Care Update:
Training starts at the end of March! We are actually going this time! This is the 3rd training offered since we first expressed interest to the agency we are working with. I think we just weren't ready because we each had several "reasons" we couldn't go. But it is happening now!
We have done most of the initial paperwork and just have to turn it in. I hope that helps us get everything done quickly!
I know of a family that has been done with everything for 8 months! They still don't have a placement! And another family that has been ready for several months and also doesn't have a placement! YIKES! They live in different areas, so I hope that isn't the case for us.
I really, really want this to go smoothly. However, judging by everything else related to us getting a baby the odds are small......but who knows! Maybe we were meant to do this all along, and the universe has just been waiting for us to get our shit together so we can get the child intended for us!
Positive thoughts on a positive foster care experience are always welcome :)
Monday, December 15, 2014
WE MADE IT!!!!
We did it! We successfully completed the 28-Day Clean Eating Challenge!
Rachel:
Starting Weight 140.4
Finishing Weight 135.6
=5 POUNDS!
Skie:
Starting Weight 196
Finishing Weight 186
=10 POUNDS!!
This is more weight loss than I really anticipated. I am so impressed with us!
To be totally honest, Saturday we both went a little half-assed at eating clean too. We went to a friend's house for his birthday and they had Pizza Hut. We did each have 2 small slices of pizza. It was the first cheese either of us had in the whole month. It was pretty good in the moment, but you know I could have lived without it.
And eating pizza like that isn't normal for us at anytime, but it was there and it was served for dinner so we did it. We probably won't have pizza like that again for a LONG TIME. We do make homemade pizza, and sometimes will have a Newman's Own thin crust. Both are much better than a pizza hut pizza.
OK, So I want to write a full price breakdown and review.
The products came out to $9 a day for each of us. Then, we spent $168 on groceries. That's $3 a day each.
For a total of $12 on food. That's so cheap! We did have some things already at home, so that cut down on the costs. We started with some frozen meat, but did buy some chicken, fish, and beef during the month. Also, what made it less was Thanksgiving. We didn't include the Thanksgiving meal or really even that whole weekend of food. So if you want to know how much it will cost you, add 3 days into our grocery budget.
We saved a ton of money on: alcohol, coffee, creamer, junk food, eating out, and cigarettes. The cleanse is cheaper for us than regular months. We should probably make some changes going forward.......
Both of us decided to not drink coffee daily. I love it so I will have it on the weekends, and have tea during the week. I didn't like the Arbonne Detox Tea flavor, so I am using Tazo now. S likes the Detox Tea, so he is going to continue drinking it daily.
We both agreed having the shake in the morning is a positive, easy thing to do. I bought more chocolate powder so we can do that every morning for breakfast. S told me he is really bad at eating breakfast usually and he feels SO MUCH when he has something in the morning. He just doesn't always have time to eat, which is why drinking the shake is perfect for him!
Major changes for me are going to include NO CARBS for dinner. We had healthy sloppy joe sliders for dinner last night, and the bread, while delicious, wiped me out! I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30. I haven't fallen asleep on the couch after dinner in over a month. (Not a coincidence!) I think they just make me super sleepy, and rundown feeling at night. It's probably ok during the day in limited quantities but for sure none at dinner time.
We both had some really big challenges during the 28-days, but it feels so good to overcome them! We both feel proud of ourselves and much healthier!
I am going to miss some things about being on the challenge. I will miss the planning we had to do, and having 2 meals already made first thing in the morning. I will also miss the Facebook page. When you sign up for the challenge, you get added to a closed Facebook group and the leader of the group posts multiple times a day with encouragement, suggestions, reasons to stay focused and not cheat, etc. It was a great way to know we weren't alone, and to get motivation! Sometimes I would want to snack on something at work, and would see a post on the group. It really reminded me daily why we committed to this.
I know we will continue down the path of clean eating!
Thursday, December 11, 2014
I have the nicest Co-worker.
Randomly a co-worker came to talk to me yesterday. We don't work in the same department, so I rarely see him. But he wanted to ask about the baby-making.
See, this summer when we were doing the latest IVF round I was talking about it and he overheard. I am not shy about anything like this so I shared the plans with him and that if it didn't work we would be moving to foster to adopt.
Five months later, he said he didn't want to bother me but he wanted to check in on me. Then, he started talking about how great it was that I had a goal to be a parent and I wasn't going to let not being pregnant get in the way. He said he thought it was so amazing and admirable that we were wanting to bring a child into our home and that it will be our child, etc.
He started crying. Seriously, at work this man was talking about my future babies and was crying. It was the sweetest, most touching moment.
Of course I was crying too. We hugged. It was so sweet. I had the Warm Fuzzies!
It was great timing for me too. Earlier in the day, I was pretty frustrated with another co-worker. It was just what I needed to restore my faith in the people I am around 40-hours every, single week of my life.
How much longer do I have to have this job????
The plan is February. I just have to hold on until then!
Speaking of helping me get out of my job and venture out on my own............
Arbonne products are fantastic, and as your local Arbonne Consultant I can hook you up with some discounts, great skin, and a healthier body!!! Just post a comment below.................
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Week Three WHOOPEEE!
Week 3 came to a close on Sunday. Which means the cleanse is over this Sunday. It's a little sad.
We have found a good routine and are in the groove of this whole clean eating and detox thing. It's been so great! Yes, there were some rough times. Also there have been huge successes and I feel proud of myself for being successful!
I will write a whole re-cap (with costs, etc.) next week when it's officially over.
Week 3 was really great. I actually enjoyed drinking the 7-Day Detox drink. And it made my insides feel fantastic! :)
We both had a lot of energy, and didn't have too much trouble turning down temptations, of which there were many of course! It really feels more natural now to not "graze" or eat "treats" at work. I used to rationalize getting a treat when my co-workers were going to Starbucks. Like this: "I've had a busy week. Yes, I should have a pastry and another cup of coffee 30 minutes after breakfast." Um, NO. That's not cool.
I had a major discovery during Week 3 too! Based on the instructions for the Cleanse I was having a Protein Shake for breakfast and lunch then eating dinner. Well, I failed to consider my crazy work schedule. I am at work 11 hours a day with a 1.5 hour commute which is 12.5 hours away from home!
I was STARVING and a little HANGRY most of the time during weeks 1-2. And I couldn't figure out why when S was doing fine. So I did a little investigation:
9:30 Breakfast to 12:30 Snack: 3 hours
12:30 Snack to 2:30 Lunch: 2 hours
2:30 Lunch to 10:00pm Dinner: 7.5 hours!!!!
Turns out, 7 hours is too long not to eat! DUH!! And I am so busy from 3-8:30 I wasn't even having a snack!
NO WONDER I WAS HANGRY and MISERABLE!
It was such a simple change. I just ate something healthy for lunch (usually S' dinner from the night before) and drank my protein shake for dinner. DUH.
This has been so much more helpful, and I feel like a million bucks! And I have lost more weight the past week and a half than I did at the beginning.
S has lost 9 lbs!! I can see it on his face and waist for sure. He says he can feel my waist is significantly smaller too though I have only lost 3 lbs.
All in All. WINNING! ;)
There will be a Clean Eating Challenge Group starting Jan. 5. Let me know if you are interested in feeling fabulous during the January Doldrums!
We have found a good routine and are in the groove of this whole clean eating and detox thing. It's been so great! Yes, there were some rough times. Also there have been huge successes and I feel proud of myself for being successful!
I will write a whole re-cap (with costs, etc.) next week when it's officially over.
Week 3 was really great. I actually enjoyed drinking the 7-Day Detox drink. And it made my insides feel fantastic! :)
We both had a lot of energy, and didn't have too much trouble turning down temptations, of which there were many of course! It really feels more natural now to not "graze" or eat "treats" at work. I used to rationalize getting a treat when my co-workers were going to Starbucks. Like this: "I've had a busy week. Yes, I should have a pastry and another cup of coffee 30 minutes after breakfast." Um, NO. That's not cool.
I had a major discovery during Week 3 too! Based on the instructions for the Cleanse I was having a Protein Shake for breakfast and lunch then eating dinner. Well, I failed to consider my crazy work schedule. I am at work 11 hours a day with a 1.5 hour commute which is 12.5 hours away from home!
I was STARVING and a little HANGRY most of the time during weeks 1-2. And I couldn't figure out why when S was doing fine. So I did a little investigation:
9:30 Breakfast to 12:30 Snack: 3 hours
12:30 Snack to 2:30 Lunch: 2 hours
2:30 Lunch to 10:00pm Dinner: 7.5 hours!!!!
Turns out, 7 hours is too long not to eat! DUH!! And I am so busy from 3-8:30 I wasn't even having a snack!
NO WONDER I WAS HANGRY and MISERABLE!
It was such a simple change. I just ate something healthy for lunch (usually S' dinner from the night before) and drank my protein shake for dinner. DUH.
This has been so much more helpful, and I feel like a million bucks! And I have lost more weight the past week and a half than I did at the beginning.
S has lost 9 lbs!! I can see it on his face and waist for sure. He says he can feel my waist is significantly smaller too though I have only lost 3 lbs.
All in All. WINNING! ;)
There will be a Clean Eating Challenge Group starting Jan. 5. Let me know if you are interested in feeling fabulous during the January Doldrums!
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Ugh Day 8!
Day 8- Tuesday started off with great promise. It didn't last long.
I got up as usual at 6am to make our shakes. I typically go back to sleep after that but I had a doctor appointment so I had to leave a bit earlier. There wasn't enough time to go back to sleep, and I was awake anyways. I found a pretty good yoga youtube video, and did that for 35 minutes. Then, I even had time to do some laundry!
I was feeling great! Got to the doctor on time, and it started going downhill from there.
I went in to get a mammogram and ultrasound on Righty because of a lump I affectionately call "The Rock."
"The Rock" has been with me since about 2007, he's cool and hasn't changed much. But I get him checked out every few years.
Everything's going fine, no biggie the tech just tries to rip Righty off my body to get it in the damn machine. But fine. (Someone really needs to work on that technology. It sucks!!)
Then, I have to go back for more mammogram pictures because the doctor "saw something concerning" on Lefty. What???? I'm here for the right one thanks. Getting slightly freaked out.
On to Ultrasound.....The tech is pregnant. Not off to a good start. Then she says nonchalantly that she needs to focus on Lefty because the doctor is concerned about some spots. Way to freak me out more!
It was a rough 2.5 hours there, but it turns out everything is fine. They are just lumpy. Which incidentally would reduce if I breastfed. And we know that's not happening.
Since the radiology office was in the same parking lot as my last RE, Dr. M, I planned to go over there and donate leftover medications and syringes. I didn't think much of it.
But suddenly when I was leaving I just started crying. It made me really sad to give up all my medications and syringes. Now my "IVF Bucket" is empty for the first time in over a year.
Actually, almost exactly a year. I had my first IVF Transfer of 2- Day 5 embryos on my birthday last year.
One year later it's done. Over. That's it. So I'm sad today.
And so incredibly grateful my exam results came back normal. So incredibly relieved and thankful.
I was thinking about it all on the drive to work. How I am so blessed, lucky, whatever to be healthy and not have any real medical problems. And also, how the one major thing I have always wanted and took for granted so many years would just happen it the one thing I can't have.
I have so many things to be thankful for this year on Thanksgiving, and so many amazing blessings in my life on my birthday. I really have been given a good life and I am choosing to focus on what I do have and the experiences I have been given instead of focusing on the things I don't have.
I hope you can do the same.
I got up as usual at 6am to make our shakes. I typically go back to sleep after that but I had a doctor appointment so I had to leave a bit earlier. There wasn't enough time to go back to sleep, and I was awake anyways. I found a pretty good yoga youtube video, and did that for 35 minutes. Then, I even had time to do some laundry!
I was feeling great! Got to the doctor on time, and it started going downhill from there.
I went in to get a mammogram and ultrasound on Righty because of a lump I affectionately call "The Rock."
"The Rock" has been with me since about 2007, he's cool and hasn't changed much. But I get him checked out every few years.
Everything's going fine, no biggie the tech just tries to rip Righty off my body to get it in the damn machine. But fine. (Someone really needs to work on that technology. It sucks!!)
Then, I have to go back for more mammogram pictures because the doctor "saw something concerning" on Lefty. What???? I'm here for the right one thanks. Getting slightly freaked out.
On to Ultrasound.....The tech is pregnant. Not off to a good start. Then she says nonchalantly that she needs to focus on Lefty because the doctor is concerned about some spots. Way to freak me out more!
It was a rough 2.5 hours there, but it turns out everything is fine. They are just lumpy. Which incidentally would reduce if I breastfed. And we know that's not happening.
Since the radiology office was in the same parking lot as my last RE, Dr. M, I planned to go over there and donate leftover medications and syringes. I didn't think much of it.
But suddenly when I was leaving I just started crying. It made me really sad to give up all my medications and syringes. Now my "IVF Bucket" is empty for the first time in over a year.
Actually, almost exactly a year. I had my first IVF Transfer of 2- Day 5 embryos on my birthday last year.
One year later it's done. Over. That's it. So I'm sad today.
And so incredibly grateful my exam results came back normal. So incredibly relieved and thankful.
I was thinking about it all on the drive to work. How I am so blessed, lucky, whatever to be healthy and not have any real medical problems. And also, how the one major thing I have always wanted and took for granted so many years would just happen it the one thing I can't have.
I have so many things to be thankful for this year on Thanksgiving, and so many amazing blessings in my life on my birthday. I really have been given a good life and I am choosing to focus on what I do have and the experiences I have been given instead of focusing on the things I don't have.
I hope you can do the same.
Thanksgiving and Birthday!
I am officially 32. YAH! We didn't do anything for my birthday except prepare for Thursday, though we did get to spend some time with friends who now live out of town. That was fun.
Thanksgiving and the weekend went really well overall! We hosted 9 family members, and S and I cooked everything! WHEW, we were tired. It was all awesome, and not that much was off the Detox diet.
On Diet:
Smoked turkey
Brussel sprouts
Sweet potato casserole (the only thing was the 1/4 cup of sugar)
Green beans w/almonds
Off Diet:
Sausage balls (I only had 1, S had 0)
Mashed red potatoes (Super small servings)
Gouda cheese w/1 cracker (2 small bites)
Red Wine (ok, ok, I had too much of this.............)
Cigarettes (only a couple, but I know still.......)
It looks worse written out. I had it rationalized well in my head! A bigger issue was the next day when we had local BBQ brisket, sausage, ribs, beans, and potato salad. Both of us tried hard to eat significantly less than we usually would, and neither of us got seconds on anything. Overall I give us a B- on maintaining the detox over the holiday. Not so bad.
And we had so much fun celebrating with our family, and then Saturday with friends!! I love the holiday season and am excited about upcoming events!!
We got a Christmas tree on Sunday too. We went to a Christmas tree farm to cut it ourselves! It was pretty cute, but the trees they grow were a little picked over, and too short.
We ended up getting a pre-cut Fraiser Fir from North Carolina. Still better that we bought local than from Lowe's........
As of Monday we are back on the detox 100% and feeling GREAT!
Thanksgiving and the weekend went really well overall! We hosted 9 family members, and S and I cooked everything! WHEW, we were tired. It was all awesome, and not that much was off the Detox diet.
On Diet:
Smoked turkey
Brussel sprouts
Sweet potato casserole (the only thing was the 1/4 cup of sugar)
Green beans w/almonds
Off Diet:
Sausage balls (I only had 1, S had 0)
Mashed red potatoes (Super small servings)
Gouda cheese w/1 cracker (2 small bites)
Red Wine (ok, ok, I had too much of this.............)
Cigarettes (only a couple, but I know still.......)
It looks worse written out. I had it rationalized well in my head! A bigger issue was the next day when we had local BBQ brisket, sausage, ribs, beans, and potato salad. Both of us tried hard to eat significantly less than we usually would, and neither of us got seconds on anything. Overall I give us a B- on maintaining the detox over the holiday. Not so bad.
And we had so much fun celebrating with our family, and then Saturday with friends!! I love the holiday season and am excited about upcoming events!!
We got a Christmas tree on Sunday too. We went to a Christmas tree farm to cut it ourselves! It was pretty cute, but the trees they grow were a little picked over, and too short.
We ended up getting a pre-cut Fraiser Fir from North Carolina. Still better that we bought local than from Lowe's........
As of Monday we are back on the detox 100% and feeling GREAT!
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Day 7
Happy to report Day 7 was easy. No cravings, no problems, just feeling good.
I noticed I had more energy in the evening when I got home from work, which was nice since we have so much to do before Thursday-Thanksgiving!!!
Also, my birthday is Wednesday. I keep forgetting and having to remind myself. The b-day is not a big deal to me usually but at least I remember......
This should be a good excuse to fall back on if I forget anyone else's birthday. I can't even remember my own, much less anyone else's!!!
Dinner last night was particularly tasty. We discovered awhile back this brand called Red Fork that makes pouches of sauce. We like the Sloppy Joe version. Then we found a sauce for asparagus, and chicken! So last night we had:
Red Fork Lemon Herb Asparagus Seasoning Sauce on Asparagus
Red Fork Tomato Olive Skillet Sauce on Chicken
So good, so easy, and other than having more sodium than we usually eat they are very "Clean" products! Check them out!
I noticed I had more energy in the evening when I got home from work, which was nice since we have so much to do before Thursday-Thanksgiving!!!
Also, my birthday is Wednesday. I keep forgetting and having to remind myself. The b-day is not a big deal to me usually but at least I remember......
This should be a good excuse to fall back on if I forget anyone else's birthday. I can't even remember my own, much less anyone else's!!!
Dinner last night was particularly tasty. We discovered awhile back this brand called Red Fork that makes pouches of sauce. We like the Sloppy Joe version. Then we found a sauce for asparagus, and chicken! So last night we had:
Red Fork Lemon Herb Asparagus Seasoning Sauce on Asparagus
Red Fork Tomato Olive Skillet Sauce on Chicken
So good, so easy, and other than having more sodium than we usually eat they are very "Clean" products! Check them out!
Monday, November 24, 2014
Weekend 1- Days 4-6
Well you win some and you lose some. We have been doing so good eating exactly on the plan and only what's on the plan. In fact, a couple of days I didn't even make it to 1200 calories and didn't really feel hungry.
Last night (Sunday) was the first weigh in. I lost 1 lb. (then it was back Monday morning) and S has lost 2 lbs. That's it. I really don't feel upset or disappointed by that. I am loving eating all the clean food, staying away from all the processed crap and drinking 2 meals a day. I actually like it.
But. What happened was.........we decided to have a little cheat day on Saturday night. We drank some beers. And maybe had a couple cigarettes. I know, I know. We shouldn't have.
It was so easy to rationalize the choice, and we were both miserable after working all week, not smoking, and not eating any junk food. My brain was PISSED! I could feel it, my dopamine and serotonin levels were at an all time low, I was just an addict without their drug. Unfortunately, after the first cigarette I felt all the way back to "normal." It's bad. I'm an addict (nicotine, not the beer). I didn't "need" a beer the way I "needed" the smoke.
I know I can quit though. I have done it before, and I can do it again. I just have to be strong. We got right back on track Sunday, and don't plan on smoking again. It's just back to keeping focused on the goal.
I am terrible at blogging over the weekends. I don't really have a computer at home, just a tablet. The blog doesn't work well on it. So I also did not succeed in my goal to blog for 30 days straight. But hey-No one is perfect. Right???
We have had some great dinners though. I want to write them down here so next time we do this I will remember!
Friday Dinner- Spaghetti Squash with Organic Red Sauce and grilled onions and garlic. YUMMY!!!
Saturday Dinner- Baked Cauliflower and leftover spaghetti squash. The Cauliflower was awesome! We bought 2 more at the store yesterday, we liked it so much!
Sunday Dinner/Lunch- We only had one protein shake Sunday because we were out most of the day. We ate a Chipolte. It was pretty good. We both had the salad bowl, with grilled veggies, meat, red salsa, and guacamole. And halfway through the bowl we were full! So we had dinner too! On diet-and delicious, and cheap!
Last night (Sunday) was the first weigh in. I lost 1 lb. (then it was back Monday morning) and S has lost 2 lbs. That's it. I really don't feel upset or disappointed by that. I am loving eating all the clean food, staying away from all the processed crap and drinking 2 meals a day. I actually like it.
But. What happened was.........we decided to have a little cheat day on Saturday night. We drank some beers. And maybe had a couple cigarettes. I know, I know. We shouldn't have.
It was so easy to rationalize the choice, and we were both miserable after working all week, not smoking, and not eating any junk food. My brain was PISSED! I could feel it, my dopamine and serotonin levels were at an all time low, I was just an addict without their drug. Unfortunately, after the first cigarette I felt all the way back to "normal." It's bad. I'm an addict (nicotine, not the beer). I didn't "need" a beer the way I "needed" the smoke.
I know I can quit though. I have done it before, and I can do it again. I just have to be strong. We got right back on track Sunday, and don't plan on smoking again. It's just back to keeping focused on the goal.
I am terrible at blogging over the weekends. I don't really have a computer at home, just a tablet. The blog doesn't work well on it. So I also did not succeed in my goal to blog for 30 days straight. But hey-No one is perfect. Right???
We have had some great dinners though. I want to write them down here so next time we do this I will remember!
Friday Dinner- Spaghetti Squash with Organic Red Sauce and grilled onions and garlic. YUMMY!!!
Saturday Dinner- Baked Cauliflower and leftover spaghetti squash. The Cauliflower was awesome! We bought 2 more at the store yesterday, we liked it so much!
Sunday Dinner/Lunch- We only had one protein shake Sunday because we were out most of the day. We ate a Chipolte. It was pretty good. We both had the salad bowl, with grilled veggies, meat, red salsa, and guacamole. And halfway through the bowl we were full! So we had dinner too! On diet-and delicious, and cheap!
Thursday, November 20, 2014
I Hit a Wall- Also Known as Day 3.
Day 3-Wednesday.
Why is it not Thursday (the end of my work week)??????
I just want to be in my bed.......
I hate this......it's stupid/I'm quitting/and every variation of that sentiment
Those were my thoughts most of Day 3. By far THE WORST DAY! I was so miserable all day. For several reasons.
First, I am tired. My body had become quite accustomed to the arsenal of stimulants I provided regularly. Coffee, Cigarettes, Sugar on regular dosing intervals. I was never without a stimulant.
Now I have NONE. And my body continues to let me know via headaches, grumpiness, general un-comfortableness, and tiredness.
Second, I am constipated.
(Disclaimer: This paragraph is going to be full of TMI. Skip if you can't handle it)
I am open about talking about my poop, and other people's for that matter. It's an important part of our functioning health. Anyways, I haven't had a legitimate #2 since Sunday! It has been incredibly painful. My stomach is very loud, letting me and everyone else know what's up.
We both drank some Traditional Medicinals Smooth Moves Tea (if you are ever constipated or just not regular, this stuff is amazing!!)Tuesday night. It worked for S (of course) but not for me.
Third, I have cravings! For coffee, sugar, and nicotine! All the time! The cigarette craving was particularly strong. For about 12 hours. It was rough. Luckily the Husband is a rock, and helped me through it!
I took a bath after work to help me relax, and it helped.
Dinner was pretty good, or I was just happy to be eating solid food....
Baked chicken with garlic and onion
Romaine Lettuce
Black Beans
Brown Rice
Salsa
Mix it all together for a yummy salad bowl a la Chipolte.
Our Day 3 Smoothie-
(Tip: Keep the smoothies simple, Day 2's smoothie just had too much going on to be good!)
8 scoops (4 "meals") Arbonne Chocolate protein powder
2 scoops fiber
2 scoops Greens Balance
Coconut milk
Water
Ice
Snacks-
S: Avocado, unsalted mixed nuts
R: Carrots/Hummus (I should have had more calories today, but didn't because my stomach hurt so bad)
Why is it not Thursday (the end of my work week)??????
I just want to be in my bed.......
I hate this......it's stupid/I'm quitting/and every variation of that sentiment
Those were my thoughts most of Day 3. By far THE WORST DAY! I was so miserable all day. For several reasons.
First, I am tired. My body had become quite accustomed to the arsenal of stimulants I provided regularly. Coffee, Cigarettes, Sugar on regular dosing intervals. I was never without a stimulant.
Now I have NONE. And my body continues to let me know via headaches, grumpiness, general un-comfortableness, and tiredness.
Second, I am constipated.
(Disclaimer: This paragraph is going to be full of TMI. Skip if you can't handle it)
I am open about talking about my poop, and other people's for that matter. It's an important part of our functioning health. Anyways, I haven't had a legitimate #2 since Sunday! It has been incredibly painful. My stomach is very loud, letting me and everyone else know what's up.
We both drank some Traditional Medicinals Smooth Moves Tea (if you are ever constipated or just not regular, this stuff is amazing!!)Tuesday night. It worked for S (of course) but not for me.
Third, I have cravings! For coffee, sugar, and nicotine! All the time! The cigarette craving was particularly strong. For about 12 hours. It was rough. Luckily the Husband is a rock, and helped me through it!
I took a bath after work to help me relax, and it helped.
Dinner was pretty good, or I was just happy to be eating solid food....
Baked chicken with garlic and onion
Romaine Lettuce
Black Beans
Brown Rice
Salsa
Mix it all together for a yummy salad bowl a la Chipolte.
Our Day 3 Smoothie-
(Tip: Keep the smoothies simple, Day 2's smoothie just had too much going on to be good!)
8 scoops (4 "meals") Arbonne Chocolate protein powder
2 scoops fiber
2 scoops Greens Balance
Coconut milk
Water
Ice
Snacks-
S: Avocado, unsalted mixed nuts
R: Carrots/Hummus (I should have had more calories today, but didn't because my stomach hurt so bad)
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Why?
I have been asked several times recently "Why do you need to detox?" Or "What's the Point of it."
I think those are very valid and important questions, I want to answer with my own story.
This summer when preparing for what we knew would be our last IVF, I wanted to EVERY THING possible to give my body the best chance. Which is how I discovered the first cleanse program I have done.
I was totally skeptical at first. I told my Dr. Friend who first talked to me about it that my big plan was to just eat "super healthy" and that would do the trick. She used some doctor reasoning on me that made me understand that eating "super healthy" (whatever that means BTW) wasn't going to be enough to repair the damage my years of unhealthy eating and exposure to toxins. She explained that most American's gut's are badly damaged and leaky. Gross. But she is right.
I started thinking about it, and reading up more on the Gut-Brain Connection. I knew about this already, but I didn't realize the importance of the Gut in reproduction. In retrospect, it seems a bit obvious. I had just never thought of my gut health being so critical to the success of IVF.
Did you know there is more Serotonin in your gut than in your brain? Serotonin is a super important "Feel good chemical" that we mostly associate with our brains, but there really is more in the gut. Just one reason having a happy gut is vital to our well being.
So I was convinced. I did her 6 week leaky gut repair cleanse and it was so hard, amazing, challenging, fun and amazing! There were some days that were TERRIBLE, but at the end I noticed some significant changes.
I noticed that after 2 years of taking pre-natal vitamins I FINALLY understood they do make my hair, skin, and nails so much prettier and faster growing. It seems my body was in such a state of disrepair all those years, I wasn't absorbing all the nutrients in my food and vitamins. I also had more energy, not caffeine generated, had less stomach trouble, quit smoking and was just more focused overall.
Obviously IVF still didn't work. But the cleanse was still worth it. That is part of why I decided to do it again with the Arbonne products. I need another "Reset" after the chemicals of IVF, the 10 pounds I gained during and the excessive eating of my feelings afterwards.
I binged on food, cigarettes, coffee, and beer for the last 2 months. I think I have felt all the feelings, grieved the pain, and I am looking forward to moving forward. :) This cleanse will help me push the Reset Button on my body, my mind, and my soul.
I think those are very valid and important questions, I want to answer with my own story.
This summer when preparing for what we knew would be our last IVF, I wanted to EVERY THING possible to give my body the best chance. Which is how I discovered the first cleanse program I have done.
I was totally skeptical at first. I told my Dr. Friend who first talked to me about it that my big plan was to just eat "super healthy" and that would do the trick. She used some doctor reasoning on me that made me understand that eating "super healthy" (whatever that means BTW) wasn't going to be enough to repair the damage my years of unhealthy eating and exposure to toxins. She explained that most American's gut's are badly damaged and leaky. Gross. But she is right.
I started thinking about it, and reading up more on the Gut-Brain Connection. I knew about this already, but I didn't realize the importance of the Gut in reproduction. In retrospect, it seems a bit obvious. I had just never thought of my gut health being so critical to the success of IVF.
Did you know there is more Serotonin in your gut than in your brain? Serotonin is a super important "Feel good chemical" that we mostly associate with our brains, but there really is more in the gut. Just one reason having a happy gut is vital to our well being.
So I was convinced. I did her 6 week leaky gut repair cleanse and it was so hard, amazing, challenging, fun and amazing! There were some days that were TERRIBLE, but at the end I noticed some significant changes.
I noticed that after 2 years of taking pre-natal vitamins I FINALLY understood they do make my hair, skin, and nails so much prettier and faster growing. It seems my body was in such a state of disrepair all those years, I wasn't absorbing all the nutrients in my food and vitamins. I also had more energy, not caffeine generated, had less stomach trouble, quit smoking and was just more focused overall.
Obviously IVF still didn't work. But the cleanse was still worth it. That is part of why I decided to do it again with the Arbonne products. I need another "Reset" after the chemicals of IVF, the 10 pounds I gained during and the excessive eating of my feelings afterwards.
I binged on food, cigarettes, coffee, and beer for the last 2 months. I think I have felt all the feelings, grieved the pain, and I am looking forward to moving forward. :) This cleanse will help me push the Reset Button on my body, my mind, and my soul.
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