I am right now sitting in a freezing waiting room at the Hospital. I have been here since 12:21. That is when my husband went into surgery. For the second time in less than a month. Waiting rooms are BOOORRRINNGG. I am restless, worried, bored, anxious, scared, and mad!
WOW that's a lot of feelings for one tiny waiting room.
WOW that's a lot of feelings for one tiny waiting room.
We aren't pregnant, shockingly. We could have been closer to being pregnant right now but the IVF nurse sucks. And that's a longer story for another day. But it looks like in early November we can start the IVF drugs.
Let's focus for a minute on the "life's not fair" part of the title.
There are so certain people we know that get pregnant (seemingly) without even trying, that have way more "risk factors" than we do. It's not fair we are young and healthy and infertile.
Anyways- I am here, waiting, cold, and bored and decide to check the facebook. Guess who is preggo! (Hint:not me, it's never me) It's someone else. And usually I am genuinely happy for my friends who get pregnant. They deserve it. Really, I have really great, nice friends with great loving relationships. They deserve it too!
It's just it takes me a minute to get to that place where I can be happy for them.
Anyways- I am here, waiting, cold, and bored and decide to check the facebook. Guess who is preggo! (Hint:not me, it's never me) It's someone else. And usually I am genuinely happy for my friends who get pregnant. They deserve it. Really, I have really great, nice friends with great loving relationships. They deserve it too!
It's just it takes me a minute to get to that place where I can be happy for them.
It is just upsetting sometimes, so upsetting I just spent the past half hour in the waiting room bathroom crying, much to the dismay of the 3 other women in and out of the bathroom.
I checked my cervical mucus every f-ing day for 6 months. Yes, 6. Months. Have peed on sticks almost daily for 16 months. Timed everything perfectly for 18 months. Been poked, prodded, and most recently had dye shot up me to check the ole tubes (for several hundreds of dollars by the way). For nothing. I have nothing to show for that except an empty bank account. How is this fair!!!??????
I checked my cervical mucus every f-ing day for 6 months. Yes, 6. Months. Have peed on sticks almost daily for 16 months. Timed everything perfectly for 18 months. Been poked, prodded, and most recently had dye shot up me to check the ole tubes (for several hundreds of dollars by the way). For nothing. I have nothing to show for that except an empty bank account. How is this fair!!!??????
Ok, I am just reacting. It's new news and is still sinking in. But their kid is going to be older than ours, and that just sucks.
Ok, but look I know I am going to have a kid. I know that will happen, and pretty soon. In the big scheme of things waiting 2 more months isn't a big deal. I know.
Also, it is actually good we were delayed because this surgery is a big deal that needed to happen ASAP, and we couldn't go through this difficult, 2-week recovery and IVF at the same time.
It is good we had fertility problems in the first place, otherwise we never would have found out about this problem he is getting fixed. So I am thankful for fertility problems. Seriously, I am. I swear.
It still isn't fair, but it is good and happened for a reason. A good one I am sure.....more to be revealed.....hopefully....
