Day 7

Happy to report Day 7 was easy. No cravings, no problems, just feeling good.
I noticed I had more energy in the evening when I got home from work, which was nice since we have so much to do before Thursday-Thanksgiving!!!

Also, my birthday is Wednesday. I keep forgetting and having to remind myself. The b-day is not a big deal to me usually but at least I remember......

This should be a good excuse to fall back on if I forget anyone else's birthday. I can't even remember my own, much less anyone else's!!!

Dinner last night was particularly tasty. We discovered awhile back this brand called Red Fork that makes pouches of sauce. We like the Sloppy Joe version. Then we found a sauce for asparagus, and chicken!  So last night we had:
 Red Fork Lemon Herb Asparagus Seasoning Sauce on Asparagus
Red Fork Tomato Olive Skillet Sauce on Chicken

So good, so easy, and other than having more sodium than we usually eat they are very "Clean" products! Check them out!

Weekend 1- Days 4-6

Well you win some and you lose some. We have been doing so good eating exactly on the plan and only what's on the plan. In fact, a couple of days I didn't even make it to 1200 calories and didn't really feel hungry.

Last night (Sunday) was the first weigh in. I lost 1 lb. (then it was back Monday morning) and S has lost 2 lbs. That's it. I really don't feel upset or disappointed by that. I am loving eating all the clean food, staying away from all the processed crap and drinking 2 meals a day. I actually like it.

But. What happened was.........we decided to have a little cheat day on Saturday night. We drank some beers. And maybe had a couple cigarettes. I know, I know. We shouldn't have.

It was so easy to rationalize the choice, and we were both miserable after working all week, not smoking, and not eating any junk food. My brain was PISSED! I could feel it, my dopamine and serotonin levels were at an all time low, I was just an addict without their drug. Unfortunately, after the first cigarette I felt all the way back to "normal." It's bad. I'm an addict (nicotine, not the beer). I didn't "need" a beer the way I "needed" the smoke.

I know I can quit though. I have done it before, and I can do it again. I just have to be strong. We got right back on track Sunday, and don't plan on smoking again. It's just back to keeping focused on the goal.

I am terrible at blogging over the weekends. I don't really have a computer at home, just a tablet. The blog doesn't work well on it. So I also did not succeed in my goal to blog for 30 days straight. But hey-No one is perfect. Right???

We have had some great dinners though. I want to write them down here so next time we do this I will remember!

Friday Dinner- Spaghetti Squash with Organic Red Sauce and grilled onions and garlic. YUMMY!!!

Saturday Dinner- Baked Cauliflower and leftover spaghetti squash. The Cauliflower was awesome! We bought 2 more at the store yesterday, we liked it so much!

Sunday Dinner/Lunch- We only had one protein shake Sunday because we were out most of the day. We ate a Chipolte. It was pretty good. We both had the salad bowl, with grilled veggies, meat, red salsa, and guacamole. And halfway through the bowl we were full! So we had dinner too! On diet-and delicious, and cheap!

I Hit a Wall- Also Known as Day 3.

Day 3-Wednesday.

Why is it not Thursday (the end of my work week)??????
I just want to be in my bed.......
I hate this......it's stupid/I'm quitting/and every variation of that sentiment

Those were my thoughts most of Day 3. By far THE WORST DAY! I was so miserable all day. For several reasons.

First, I am tired. My body had become quite accustomed to the arsenal of stimulants I provided regularly. Coffee, Cigarettes, Sugar on regular dosing intervals. I was never without a stimulant.

Now I have NONE. And my body continues to let me know via headaches, grumpiness, general un-comfortableness, and tiredness.

Second, I am constipated.
(Disclaimer: This paragraph is going to be full of TMI. Skip if you can't handle it)
I am open about talking about my poop, and other people's for that matter. It's an important part of our functioning health. Anyways, I haven't had a legitimate #2 since Sunday!  It has been incredibly painful. My stomach is very loud, letting me and everyone else know what's up.
We both drank some Traditional Medicinals Smooth Moves Tea  (if you are ever constipated or just not regular, this stuff is amazing!!)Tuesday night. It worked for S (of course) but not for me.

Third, I have cravings! For coffee, sugar, and nicotine! All the time! The cigarette craving was particularly strong. For about 12 hours. It was rough. Luckily the Husband is a rock, and helped me through it!

I took a bath after work to help me relax, and it helped.

Dinner was pretty good, or I was just happy to be eating solid food....
Baked chicken with garlic and onion
Romaine Lettuce
Black Beans
Brown Rice
Salsa
Mix it all together for a yummy salad bowl a la Chipolte.

Our Day 3 Smoothie- 
(Tip: Keep the smoothies simple, Day 2's smoothie just had too much going on to be good!)
8 scoops (4 "meals") Arbonne Chocolate protein powder
2 scoops fiber
2 scoops Greens Balance
Coconut milk
Water
Ice

Snacks-
S: Avocado, unsalted mixed nuts
R: Carrots/Hummus (I should have had more calories today, but didn't because my stomach hurt so bad)

Why?

I have been asked several times recently "Why do you need to detox?" Or "What's the Point of it."

I think those are very valid and important questions, I want to answer with my own story.

This summer when preparing for what we knew would be our last IVF, I wanted to EVERY THING possible to give my body the best chance. Which is how I discovered the first cleanse program I have done.

I was totally skeptical at first. I told my Dr. Friend who first talked to me about it that my big plan was to just eat "super healthy" and that would do the trick. She used some doctor reasoning on me that made me understand that eating "super healthy" (whatever that means BTW) wasn't going to be enough to repair the damage my years of unhealthy eating and exposure to toxins. She explained that most American's gut's are badly damaged and leaky. Gross. But she is right.

I started thinking about it, and reading up more on the Gut-Brain Connection. I knew about this already, but I didn't realize the importance of the Gut in reproduction. In retrospect, it seems a bit obvious. I had just never thought of my gut health being so critical to the success of IVF.

Did you know there is more Serotonin in your gut than in your brain? Serotonin is a super important "Feel good chemical" that we mostly associate with our brains, but there really is more in the gut. Just one reason having a happy gut is vital to our well being.

So I was convinced. I did her 6 week leaky gut repair cleanse and it was so hard, amazing, challenging, fun and amazing! There were some days that were TERRIBLE, but at the end I noticed some significant changes.

I noticed that after 2 years of taking pre-natal vitamins I FINALLY understood they do make my hair, skin, and nails so much prettier and faster growing. It seems my body was in such a state of disrepair all those years, I wasn't absorbing all the nutrients in my food and vitamins. I also had more energy, not caffeine generated, had less stomach trouble, quit smoking and was just more focused overall.

Obviously IVF still didn't work. But the cleanse was still worth it. That is part of why I decided to do it again with the Arbonne products. I need another "Reset" after the chemicals of IVF, the 10 pounds I gained during and the excessive eating of my feelings afterwards.

I binged on food, cigarettes, coffee, and beer for the last 2 months. I think I have felt all the feelings, grieved the pain, and I am looking forward to moving forward. :) This cleanse will help me push the Reset Button on my body, my mind, and my soul.

2 Down- 26 to go!!

Still going strong more than halfway into day 2!

Eventful Notes about last night:
A friend of mine got a job yesterday, and wanted me to meet her at the bar to celebrate. I had a moment of weakness, texted S to see if he was in, and then thought better of it. S was not pleased. He was pretty grumpy in general yesterday, so that just really pissed him off. OOPS......

And my friend apologized for tempting me, after of course she begged me to go! "Support" people- learn what it means :)

Last Night's Dinner:
Baked Mahi Mahi- 15min. with lemon and dill
Steamed broccoli- with lemon and pepper
Raw Spinach- with olive oil, lemon, and pepper dressing

S got his plate, looked down, looked up at me dramatically and said "Great, it's all green with lemon."
I laughed.
Couldn't help it. He was so downtrodden and sad looking and so dang dramatic!
He was really actually grumpy though, so I stifled the laugh and said something encouraging/supportive.

I liked dinner, thought it wasn't that far off from other meals we eat.

I had a surprising amount of energy too. I did dishes, cleaned up around the house, and didn't watch too much TV before heading to bed.

So far today (it's 4:37pm):
I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired earlier this afternoon. I started falling asleep reading a book on my computer at work. though it could have been because Tuesday's are the sloooowwwwwest days ever at work. Either way- I was tired. But I went "to lunch" with some coworkers, we went shopping and I perked right back up.

Tuesday Smoothie (b-fast and lunch)-
Vanilla protein powder
Fiber powder
Green Balance
Spinach
Frozen blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries
Unsweetened coconut milk

Reviews: Not super good. I say it tastes too powder-y. S says it's too berry-ie.
Tomorrow's plan: Straight up protein powder and either coconut milk or water.

I'll keep you posted, I'm sure everyone is on the edge of their seat waiting for the news..................
:)

Day 1

Day 1 of the 28-Day Arbonne Clean Eating Challenge is here!!!! And I'm halfway through the day already!

I think the hardest part of this challenge is going to be getting up at 6am to make S' smoothies! I usually don't wake up until 7:30, but he really needs help getting out of the house so early so I have agreed to make our breakfast and lunch shakes at 6 am! Today I went back to sleep, but tomorrow the goal is to actually utilize the time being awake to workout!

I feel confused on where to start with a new exercise plan. I am a "Class" kind of exerciser. I used to love going to Body Pump, Yoga, and the Kickboxing class at the gym. My current schedule  and living in the country doesn't really work with the gym's schedule. Then, I was running/walking around the neighborhood which was perfect. But it is way, way too cold for that!

Now what do I do? I will try to find a You Tube video (though I haven't had success with that in the past.....) and/or lift weights in the Man Cave. We will just have to wait and see how it goes.....

But back to today......
This morning I made S and I smoothies for breakfast and lunch! The recipe is so easy.....
4 scoops Chocolate protein powder
2 scoops Fiber powder
2 scoops Greens Balance
Coconut Milk (unsweetened)
3 spoonful's Almond Butter
1 banana (should have added another banana.....)
Ice

That's it.......

Now it's 1pm and I am having a Digestion Plus and Fizz Stick in my water, with a handful of mixed unsalted nuts (almonds, pumpkin seeds, cashews, pecans, pistachios). And I am not hungry!

Surprisingly, I haven't had an cigarette cravings either. Usually by this time of the day I have already had 2 and getting ready for 2 more on my lunch break. But I'm good.
Fingers Crossed this feeling continuities!

For Lunch (at 2:30) I am going to have an avocado, and the same protein shake I had for breakfast.

If I need a snack before my 6:30 counseling group, I will have either more nuts or an apple.

For Dinner (at 9:30pm) :( We will have baked Mahi-Mahi on a bed of spinach, onion, tomato, and bell peppers with olive oil and lemon dressing. Sounds yumm to me! And it isn't that different from a "normal" meal for us. We would have just used store bought salad dressing instead of olive oil and lemon.

A note about prepping: I went to Costco Friday to stock up. I spent $150! That's so cheap for 2 of us, and it will last 2 weeks! And I bought 3 bottles of wine for Thanksgiving! Then, I spent $20 on grass-fed beef and some organic Kale at the local store. I have to go to the grocery store today for a few things, and it will likely cost me $20. Not spending any more on groceries than usual, and saving money on booze and junk food!
Last night we also weighed ourselves and took some measurements. Not either of our proudest moments.......We *might* share when this is over............

In the Meantime

Since the being parents thing is on hold for now, I have been wanting to focus on my health.

I gained about 10 pounds during the last IVF cycle and I need to get them off me!! I also (super embarrassingly) started smoking again. I promised myself I wouldn't go back after this last time of quitting for about 2 months. Then, when the negative bomb drops- it happened.

I realize I have to stop with the sugar and cigarette addictions! I need to be a healthy, strong parent for my future kiddos. 

I have discovered Arbonne Nutrition Products. I have heard of Arbonne before, but I went to one of those horrible "parties" where they hard sell you while pretending it's just a "girls night." I had a negative viewpoint after that.

What I didn't realize was that they have a ton of awesome nutrition stuff! S and I decided to do their 30-day Clean Eating Challenge starting on Nov. 17!!

It's very similar to the 6-week one I did back in July. It's supplements such as protein powders and fiber powder, etc. You drink a protein/fiber smoothie for breakfast and lunch with some healthy snacks in between. Then you eat a regular dinner. Well, regular in that it's whole foods, minimal meat, no dairy, no soy, nothing artificial, no fats, etc. 

I am excited to get back to feeling awesome in my body again! I felt so great after the last cleanse, I want that back! 

This time I am going to take Before and After pics, and write down my measurements to see the difference. I hope this will help me to set the "reset" button and go back to my healthier ways! 

If anyone wants to do it with us, please do! I will create a Facebook group so we can support each other and share recipes! Let me know if you are interested! 

Fost/Adopt

This has always been about a quest to be parents, and for us adoption has always been on the table. Initially when we were blissfully naive about our child-making capacity we thought we would have a bio-kid, then adopt later down the road.

Someone had different plans for us. It looks like Baby 1 and 2 will be foster kids that we get to adopt.

We have some good friends in good places that have been advising us on how to proceed. First, we got with an agency that works with the state CPS department to place kids. Second, we started on the massive pile of ridiculous paperwork. Started it in October, still not done!

We are in somewhat of a holding pattern because they do the training once a quarter and we couldn't make the October one. We didn't go because of my job, which means I have to make a job change! ASAP!

The next training is in January, and with my current job duties I cannot miss 2 nights a week to attend the training. I have been working on transitioning into private practice since September.

It's a much slower process to get approved for insurance panels than I thought. Given the population in my community, accepting insurance is crucial. It takes about 3 months to get approved. So that's on hold-ish for now.

In the meantime, we have started the application paperwork. They want a ton of details, names, salaries from every job ever. It's intense. We have been going slowly through that.

January is the next big focus! We can start training, and possibly be able to help a baby/child that needs a home by April-May.

2015 is going to be my year!
Just have to get through the holidays.......................

It's Been Awhile

I decided not to blog through my last round of IVF. I had all the feels, like all the time. *SPOILER ALERT: It didn't work= Not Pregnant)

I had so very many conflicting feelings. I was excited and hopeful then suddenly I would be detached and scared and defeatist. Luckily I really didn't have many drug induced mood swings, I had my own thoughts and feelings to provide that.

The protocol we used this time was awesome though! I was only on injectibles 2.5 weeks (vs. 4 weeks last time). I responded so well to not-Lupron and BCP. Those drugs just don't work for me!

My follicles looked good, we got 7 legit eggs out of the deal. Then, a day-3 transfer of the 4 embryos that made it that long. I know you might be saying "HOLY SHIT 4 EMBRYOS! AT ONCE!" Yeah we were surprised too. The limit is 2 for someone in my age group. Or so I thought.

Turns out, if they are Grade "Super-Duper Crappy Embryos" like ours were, they can transfer 4. Which is only appropriate because I called this the "Hail Mary" cycle anyways. And so it was.

None stuck. Probably at all. I got to be pretend pregnant for 2 weeks. Then it was over.

We are moving onward and upward in life!

Next up, Foster/Adopt.