One step forward........

Foster Care Training started YESTERDAY! WHOO!

I wanted to blog before we went, but time just slipped away. Sunday and Monday before the training I was having some big feelings. I was super excited to take a big step forward in starting our family and I was super terrified of all the unknowns that come with having a kiddo!

After training, I still feel the same way. Just maybe a little more overwhelmed. There is a ton of stuff we have to get done before we can be approved through the agency.

We made a list of the big and small things to get done really soon, it had about 8 items. During the lecture last night I added about 10 more things. Yikes!

There isn't anything major on the list, it's a bunch of small things to gather, obtain, and follow through with. Such as: copies of our driving record, copy of marriage license, check smoke detectors, and on and on and on.

There are a few bigger things like S has to take a 2.5 hour CPR/First Aid class. Luckily for me I recently took it at work. And we have a ton of online training to do. I have literally no concept of how long that will take. Anywhere from 1-1,000,000 hours.

I did just get a new laptop for my business so that will make the training's easier. It will also make blogging from home an option! YAH! I have been limited to blogging at work where I have an actual keyboard, which is better than using the tablet.

We have a self imposed deadline to be ready for a kid by the end of our May beach vacation (May 11). I really don't know if that will happen, but it is a goal. And I will be ok if we don't make it, but I really, really want to be done by then!

I have been focusing on making a list of items we need for baby. I am up to 74 things on my amazon list. Everyday I find out about things I forgot. (like Toilet locks....thanks fellow foster mom friend)

I was talking to a coworker who has a kid my age about all this "stuff" for baby. Back when I was little and she was raising her son there just wasn't this much safety stuff, and extra stuff to deal with. I am a minimalist, but also I want to be super safe and super prepared. Not that either will prevent anything from happening but it makes me feel better.

Also the kids that will be in our home most likely won't have the best boundaries nor listen to us at first. So we will go a little overboard on safety, and hope we can unlock some cabinets at some point.

Training is Fri and Sat this week, so I hope we learn a lot and knock some things off the to-do list by then.

It's finally happening.

As usual I'm a super blog slacker........but let's just move into acceptance on that.

It's been pretty boring and normal around here, which is NOT a bad thing. At All.

We continue being mindful about what we eat and still love the Arbonne Protein shakes for breakfast. Neither of us has gained back any of the weight we lost just before Christmas on the 28-day Challenge. Which is awesome!

A couple weekends ago S and I took a trip to San Antonio for a few days. The purpose was multi-faceted.
First, we wanted some time without distractions to spend some time together. We got 1 day off together over the holidays, and we had family in town. It had been a while since we had time just the two of us. Goal Accomplished.

Second, we wanted to get away to really be able to talk about and sort through our feelings on fostering, not having a genetic baby, and really discuss it as it is becoming more and more reality. Goal Accomplished.

We talked about everything, and I had some time to continue adjusting to not being pregnant. I have been working on assimilating that idea for the past several months, and I really think I am used to it by now. Of course some days are harder than others. But I am accepting reality, having faith, and letting go of my super need to control everything.

It was so great to just have time with the hubs, and we really enjoyed our time there despite the fact that I was sick, he got heartburn, and it was cold the last day!

And that leads me to Foster Care Update:
Training starts at the end of March! We are actually going this time! This is the 3rd training offered since we first expressed interest to the agency we are working with. I think we just weren't ready because we each had several "reasons" we couldn't go. But it is happening now!

We have done most of the initial paperwork and just have to turn it in. I hope that helps us get everything done quickly!

I know of a family that has been done with everything for 8 months! They still don't have a placement! And another family that has been ready for several months and also doesn't have a placement! YIKES! They live in different areas, so I hope that isn't the case for us.

I really, really want this to go smoothly. However, judging by everything else related to us getting a baby the odds are small......but who knows! Maybe we were meant to do this all along, and the universe has just been waiting for us to get our shit together so we can get the child intended for us!

Positive thoughts on a positive foster care experience are always welcome :)

WE MADE IT!!!!

We did it! We successfully completed the 28-Day Clean Eating Challenge!




Rachel:

Starting Weight 140.4

Finishing Weight 135.6

=5 POUNDS!



Skie:

Starting Weight 196

Finishing Weight 186

=10 POUNDS!!


This is more weight loss than I really anticipated. I am so impressed with us!

To be totally honest, Saturday we both went a little half-assed at eating clean too. We went to a friend's house for his birthday and they had Pizza Hut. We did each have 2 small slices of pizza. It was the first cheese either of us had in the whole month. It was pretty good in the moment, but you know I could have lived without it.


And eating pizza like that isn't normal for us at anytime, but it was there and it was served for dinner so we did it. We probably won't have pizza like that again for a LONG TIME. We do make homemade pizza, and sometimes will have a Newman's Own thin crust. Both are much better than a pizza hut pizza.


OK, So I want to write a full price breakdown and review.


The products came out to $9 a day for each of us. Then, we spent $168 on groceries. That's $3 a day each.


For a total of $12 on food. That's so cheap! We did have some things already at home, so that cut down on the costs. We started with some frozen meat, but did buy some chicken, fish, and beef during the month. Also, what made it less was Thanksgiving. We didn't include the Thanksgiving meal or really even that whole weekend of food. So if you want to know how much it will cost you, add 3 days into our grocery budget.


We saved a ton of money on: alcohol, coffee, creamer, junk food, eating out, and cigarettes. The cleanse is cheaper for us than regular months. We should probably make some changes going forward.......


Both of us decided to not drink coffee daily. I love it so I will have it on the weekends, and have tea during the week. I didn't like the Arbonne Detox Tea flavor, so I am using Tazo now. S likes the Detox Tea, so he is going to continue drinking it daily.


We both agreed having the shake in the morning is a positive, easy thing to do. I bought more chocolate powder so we can do that every morning for breakfast. S told me he is really bad at eating breakfast usually and he feels SO MUCH when he has something in the morning. He just doesn't always have time to eat, which is why drinking the shake is perfect for him!


Major changes for me are going to include NO CARBS for dinner. We had healthy sloppy joe sliders for dinner last night, and the bread, while delicious, wiped me out! I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30. I haven't fallen asleep on the couch after dinner in over a month. (Not a coincidence!) I think they just make me super sleepy, and rundown feeling at night. It's probably ok during the day in limited quantities but for sure none at dinner time.


We both had some really big challenges during the 28-days, but it feels so good to overcome them! We both feel proud of ourselves and much healthier!


I am going to miss some things about being on the challenge. I will miss the planning we had to do, and having 2 meals already made first thing in the morning. I will also miss the Facebook page. When you sign up for the challenge, you get added to a closed Facebook group and the leader of the group posts multiple times a day with encouragement, suggestions, reasons to stay focused and not cheat, etc. It was a great way to know we weren't alone, and to get motivation! Sometimes I would want to snack on something at work, and would see a post on the group. It really reminded me daily why we committed to this.


I know we will continue down the path of clean eating!

I have the nicest Co-worker.

Randomly a co-worker came to talk to me yesterday. We don't work in the same department, so I rarely see him. But he wanted to ask about the baby-making.

See, this summer when we were doing the latest IVF round I was talking about it and he overheard. I am not shy about anything like this so I shared the plans with him and that if it didn't work we would be moving to foster to adopt.

Five months later, he said he didn't want to bother me but he wanted to check in on me. Then, he started talking about how great it was that I had a goal to be a parent and I wasn't going to let not being pregnant get in the way. He said he thought it was so amazing and admirable that we were wanting to bring a child into our home and that it will be our child, etc. 

He started crying. Seriously, at work this man was talking about my future babies and was crying. It was the sweetest, most touching moment. 

Of course I was crying too. We hugged. It was so sweet. I had the Warm Fuzzies! 

It was great timing for me too. Earlier in the day, I was pretty frustrated with another co-worker. It was just what I needed to restore my faith in the people I am around 40-hours every, single week of my life. 

How much longer do I have to have this job????

The plan is February. I just have to hold on until then! 

Speaking of helping me get out of my job and venture out on my own............

Arbonne products are fantastic, and as your local Arbonne Consultant I can hook you up with some discounts, great skin, and a healthier body!!! Just post a comment below.................

Week Three WHOOPEEE!

Week 3 came to a close on Sunday. Which means the cleanse is over this Sunday. It's a little sad.

We have found a good routine and are in the groove of this whole clean eating and detox thing. It's been so  great! Yes, there were some rough times. Also there have been huge successes and I feel proud of myself for being successful!

I will write a whole re-cap (with costs, etc.) next week when it's officially over.

Week 3 was really great. I actually enjoyed drinking the 7-Day Detox drink. And it made my insides feel fantastic! :)

We both had a lot of energy, and didn't have too much trouble turning down temptations, of which there were many of course! It really feels more natural now to not "graze" or eat "treats" at work. I used to rationalize getting a treat when my co-workers were going to Starbucks. Like this: "I've had a busy week. Yes, I should have a pastry and another cup of coffee 30 minutes after breakfast." Um, NO. That's not cool.

I had a major discovery during Week 3 too! Based on the instructions for the Cleanse I was having a Protein Shake for breakfast and lunch then eating dinner. Well, I failed to consider my crazy work schedule. I am at work 11 hours a day with a 1.5 hour commute which is 12.5 hours away from home!

I was STARVING and a little HANGRY most of the time during weeks 1-2. And I couldn't figure out why when S was doing fine. So I did a little investigation:

9:30 Breakfast to 12:30 Snack: 3 hours
12:30 Snack to 2:30 Lunch: 2 hours
2:30 Lunch to 10:00pm Dinner: 7.5 hours!!!!

Turns out, 7 hours is too long not to eat! DUH!! And I am so busy from 3-8:30 I wasn't even having a snack!
NO WONDER I WAS HANGRY and MISERABLE!

It was such a simple change. I just ate something healthy for lunch (usually S' dinner from the night before) and drank my protein shake for dinner. DUH.

This has been so much more helpful, and I feel like a million bucks! And I have lost more weight the past week and a half than I did at the beginning.

S has lost 9 lbs!! I can see it on his face and waist for sure. He says he can feel my waist is significantly smaller too though I have only lost 3 lbs.

All in All. WINNING! ;)


There will be a Clean Eating Challenge Group starting Jan. 5. Let me know if you are interested in feeling fabulous during the January Doldrums!

Ugh Day 8!

Day 8- Tuesday started off with great promise. It didn't last long.

I got up as usual at 6am to make our shakes. I typically go back to sleep after that but I had a doctor appointment so I had to leave a bit earlier. There wasn't enough time to go back to sleep, and I was awake anyways. I found a pretty good yoga youtube video, and did that for 35 minutes. Then, I even had time to do some laundry!

I was feeling great! Got to the doctor on time, and it started going downhill from there.

I went in to get a mammogram and ultrasound on Righty because of a lump I affectionately call "The Rock."
"The Rock" has been with me since about 2007, he's cool and hasn't changed much. But I get him checked out every few years.

Everything's going fine, no biggie the tech just tries to rip Righty off my body to get it in the damn machine. But fine. (Someone really needs to work on that technology. It sucks!!)

Then, I have to go back for more mammogram pictures because the doctor "saw something concerning" on Lefty. What???? I'm here for the right one thanks. Getting slightly freaked out.

On to Ultrasound.....The tech is pregnant. Not off to a good start. Then she says nonchalantly that she needs to focus on Lefty because the doctor is concerned about some spots. Way to freak me out more!

It was a rough 2.5 hours there, but it turns out everything is fine. They are just lumpy. Which incidentally would reduce if I breastfed. And we know that's not happening.

Since the radiology office was in the same parking lot as my last RE, Dr. M, I planned to go over there and donate leftover medications and syringes. I didn't think much of it.

But suddenly when I was leaving I just started crying. It made me really sad to give up all my medications and syringes. Now my "IVF Bucket" is empty for the first time in over a year.

Actually, almost exactly a year. I had my first IVF Transfer of 2- Day 5 embryos on my birthday last year.

One year later it's done. Over. That's it. So I'm sad today.

And so incredibly grateful my exam results came back normal. So incredibly relieved and thankful.

I was thinking about it all on the drive to work. How I am so blessed, lucky, whatever to be healthy and not have any real medical problems. And also, how the one major thing I have always wanted and took for granted so many years would just happen it the one thing I can't have.

I have so many things to be thankful for this year on Thanksgiving, and so many amazing blessings in my life on my birthday. I really have been given a good life and I am choosing to focus on what I do have and the experiences I have been given instead of focusing on the things I don't have.

I hope you can do the same.

Thanksgiving and Birthday!

I am officially 32. YAH! We didn't do anything for my birthday except prepare for Thursday, though we did get to spend some time with friends who now live out of town. That was fun.

Thanksgiving and the weekend went really well overall! We hosted 9 family members, and S and I cooked everything! WHEW, we were tired. It was all awesome, and not that much was off the Detox diet.

On Diet:
Smoked turkey
Brussel sprouts
Sweet potato casserole (the only thing was the 1/4 cup of sugar)
Green beans w/almonds

Off Diet:
Sausage balls (I only had 1, S had 0)
Mashed red potatoes (Super small servings)
Gouda cheese w/1 cracker (2 small bites)
Red Wine (ok, ok, I had too much of this.............)
Cigarettes (only a couple, but I know still.......)

It looks worse written out. I had it rationalized well in my head! A bigger issue was the next day when we had local BBQ brisket, sausage, ribs, beans, and potato salad. Both of us tried hard to eat significantly less than we usually would, and neither of us got seconds on anything. Overall I give us a B- on maintaining the detox over the holiday. Not so bad.

And we had so much fun celebrating with our family, and then Saturday with friends!! I love the holiday season and am excited about upcoming events!!

We got a Christmas tree on Sunday too. We went to a Christmas tree farm to cut it ourselves! It was pretty cute, but the trees they grow were a little picked over, and too short.

We ended up getting a pre-cut Fraiser Fir from North Carolina. Still better that we bought local than from Lowe's........

As of Monday we are back on the detox 100% and feeling GREAT!